Imogene's Diary

Dear Diary:

I am lonely and sleepy and feel like falling in love.

Imogene.

Billy Idols face

Dear Billy,

My Troll friend and I, while never big Billy Idol fans per se, have always wondered what the song "Eyes without a Face" could possibly mean. We often joke around about one day sending someone to each other house who embodies this very lyric but have yet to come across someone who looks like this. Have you ever seen someone who had eyes but no face? Where did the face go? More importantly, what are the eyes resting on now? Wouldn't a more accurate depiction then be eyes resting on a neck lump? Just me?

We have both thought long and hard about what having eyes, but no face, might mean and I gotta tell ya - we are coming up with bubkiss here. If you can shed some light on this, we would be ever so grateful. Perhaps Billy himself could offer a few suggestions? He must have known someone suffering from this very affliction to write a whole song about them - its time to fess up there Billy. Who has eyes with no face?

How is this possible?

Help?!?!?!?!?!

If such a person were to be found we would gladly pay them $5 Canadian dollars to go to our other friend Candido's house and scare the bejeezus out of her. We still haven't got her back yet from the terrible "Clowning" incident of 05.

With many thanks,
Imogene and the Troll

Imogene Emerges

It wasn't that she didn't so much "trust" the troll, it was that he was well ... a troll. Not that Imogene had so many better choices for confidants, but seriously? A troll?

Either way she was determined to get around this bozo and get on with her adventure. Nothing but a pimple on the ass of her day, so she riddled him this:

"Now Troll, can I call you troll? There is no suffix to that, its not Mr. Troll, or perhaps Your Trollness? no? Well okay then, Troll, I am willing to agree with you not letting me pass. But are you willing to agree with me to not not let me pass?"

The troll was confused. He thought it over, scratched himself a little, and said this:

"I would be willing to agree that I am not going to let you pass, and that you are not not going to pass, ummm.. yes.. that seems about right".

The Troll, never having had the privilege of a fancy school, or say, common sense, backed himself into a riddling corner. As far as trolls go, they ought to be clever if they are to be a good troll. Who will guard all the bridges? Who will hide under children's beds blackmailing them for cookies and milk? If not a clever troll, at least one who understands double negatives, such was not the case for this troll.

"Aha!" Yelled Imogene. "I got you! You agreed to let me pass!". "You said you would not NOT let me by, which means you of course will!" She gleamed with pride at this brilliant plan and having succeeded in trapping him into letting her go.

"oh........." First the Troll looked confused, then a sweep of red came across his pudgy little face, and he looked down at the ground. "I am not a very good troll it seems". "You may pass." and more quietly to himself as she trotted by triumphantly "My ass is on the line for this one, that's three in one hour! I am totally.. like... getting fired...". A few four letter words unfamiliar to Imogene followed in the muttering.

"What do you mean you will be Fired?" Imogene asked imagining some horrid volcano ritual, the soft fat from his face melting off into the flames.

"I mean let go, given my walking papers, out of a job" He returned.

"Do you need one of those things? Jobs?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, what else am I going to do all day? Knit? Have seen these paws?" He held up what could best be described as oven mitts for hands, fingers strewn together, no opposable thumb to speak of.

This kid couldn't even hitch a ride out of town, she thought to herself, instantly regretting having tricked the trickster. Maybe he's not so bad after all.

"Well listen" she started "I'm on my way to having an adventure, and I could really use a friend along the way. Why don't you quit this racket and come along?"

"Oh... well, I mean, I don't know. I have... never, really well, never been outside the forest you see. I don't know if I have it in my for this 'adventure' you speak of". "Would there be any heavy lifting involved?" He asked.

"No way man!" She answered. "Just pure fun, laughs, adventure stories to bring home, and of course, war wounds!" She made is sound so pretty and adorable, even the war wounds comment did not deter the Troll.

" Ok then" he decided "I'm in!"

And the adventure continued...

"